The following is the transcript copy of a free live training hosted by Satori Prime in their free group where anyone can join by heading to soulsandseekers.com.
Guy Ferdman
Okay, I think we're good enough.
Ilan Ferdman
I showed us going into them.
Guy Ferdman
Yeah, well, I could see it.
Ilan Ferdman
Oh, God. Here we are.
Guy Ferdman
Alright y'all sorry about that. API
Ilan Ferdman
demons,
Guy Ferdman
API demons out of our hands. Didn't give you didn't give you a heads up on this stuff's not
IAPI demons out of our hands. Didn't give you didn't give you a heads up on this stuff's not
working. And you only find out when you're actually trying to make it work.
Ilan Ferdman
So it's like, even if they just were like, Hey, here's an update. We did you check this? Nope.
Guy Ferdman
Nope, nope. All right, everybody. So let's just get right into it. Today, we're going to talk about
self sabotage. And if you're in the chat box, you want to say hi, please feel free. We'll welcome
you in. But since we're getting started here, late auto link.
Ilan Ferdman
for them for Yeah, doing their name thing?
Guy Ferdman
Yeah. Well, that's hard for me to do it. I'm giving the intro. So I'll do it after. So yeah, so we're going to talk about self sabotage today. And you know, if you are guilty, what's up, Mary, it's good to see you. So you know, if you are anything like me or any other human I've ever coached, then we all have our self sabotage tendencies. We, every other week, before we get on this call, we do a wrap up call with our coaches. So if you're in any of our programs, in really all of them, you we have people facilitating, coaching, kind of one on one, or in group settings to help people understand these concepts, because concepts are conceptual. But we really want to embody these teachings like how do we bring transformation into our lives every day? How do we actually look at okay, I'm having a moment here today? How do I assess this? You know, am I gonna assess it from intellect? Which is what Ilan and I did for most of our lives, right? Like, okay, how do I figure out? How do I strategies how to a game plan? Maybe there's a deeper layer, like the feelings, maybe there's a connection thing that's happening, maybe
there's a part of your system that's feeling under resourced, right? And so, when we don't understand these different aspects of really what's going on in our system, because, you know, here's, here's the reality, the human system is very complex, okay? Like for whatever you think of medical science, or wherever we are in psychology, things of that nature, like, medical science doesn't really know what's going on. I'll give you an example. When they anesthetize people for surgeries, we don't actually understand why how anesthesiology works like we don't we know it works, we don't actually know why it works. Same thing when it comes to electricity, we know it works, we actually don't know, like the actual physical properties of electricity. Like we don't actually fully understand that we don't fully understand gravity, right. And so while we may live in a world where we think we have these, like broad conceptual ideas, and good understandings of it, here's the truth we don't. And the human system is extremely complex, right? Like evolution, if you want to think of it this way, essentially, biological systems becoming more and more complex, you know, and we have man and we'll continue to evolve into more complex machinery. In fact, we are evolving and creating more complex machinery right through through our intellect and through our imagination. So when we're looking at the human system, first of all, how many you guys deal with self sabotage? You know, just say I in the chat-box? If that's like, a regular occurrence for you, and it's like, you know, I have all the eyes. Yeah, all the eyes. And it might be it doesn't always have to be a big thing, like a big loss of money or a relationship. It could be rather subtle, like I woke up this morning and feeling a lot of anxiety in my system. Or I've kind of learned this as a way I process and here's the other thing I learned what I'm anxious, like, I'm a bit of a dick. That's just you know, like I'm, I have a lot less room for being triggered. So if I am around my son or my wife, and it's not like a copious environment for like peacefulness when that's happening in my system, like, I just get so much more triggered by things that normally I would be extremely loving about. But why because I'm really inundated with what's happening in my system. And then there's still life going on, you know, actually cooked breakfast. I got to take care of the day to day things like all that's happening and if All I want to do in that moment is like sit and breathe, right? So, and that in a way is like I'm sabotaging this relationship right now. Because what I really want is connection with this person, but I'm so enamored by what's happening inside of my center channel. And what my mind is doing that like I'm not really present, it's, it's can be even hard for me to follow conversation when this is happening. I feel kind of disassociated when this is happening. And so I'm just using this as an example. Because there's like a whole world of stuff that's happening when we're sabotaging ourselves. But often, when we are doing that, what we're just seeing as the end result of the end product, which is like that didn't work out, right. And many of us, by the way, won't even will say like, Okay, I'm responsible for what happened, it's like, now there's not self sabotage this, or life is unfair, or God doesn't love me, or, you know, this always happens to me, or whatever it might be. And so, and now you're even farther away from accessing the truth. Because you're, you don't feel like you have any responsibility or say, in what's occurred. You know, maybe you're not in a place right now, in your personal evolution, where you've learned that the answer is to look within not to keep trying to fix what's out here. And so that's kind of the crux of what we want to talk about today is like, what are the strategies that we can understand, and then also embody, and the different layers in which we want to start viewing our system, and really learning how to not fix what's happening? Because what's really important that that you guys understand, or you guys start to begin to understand and play with is that your system is highly intelligent. Okay, like, if you want to think of it this way, you have a, an objective mind, this is your conscious mind. And it's, I think it's much more useful to think of the subconscious as the this area of here behind the stomach, which is the solar plexus area. Plexus literally means like the gathering of nerves and veins, and like everything that puts your nervous system together, right, and kind of all comes together here and builds out from the spinal cord, of course, and all the different aspects of the nervous system. But this part, this part basically functions one way, it's very literal. And it works on habituation. Right, this part kind of guards this part, and is the one creating the habits. But this part of you, right, this is just like your, this, this subconscious part of you the subjective part of you, that's always making blood flow in your veins is caring, and nutrition is doing 1,000,001 things underneath your consciousness is also never sleeping. And as a constant emission of energy output that is putting out like frequencies, right? That it's that is putting out into the world. And your reality is a match for the frequency. This is outputting. And so we want to get really, really, really curious about how these two mechanisms placate together. And then how, through our awareness and enhancing conscious awareness, we can facilitate changes that we want in the subconscious and the solar plexus and you know, the our nervous system neurology, and its intelligence, to actually formation to this part of ourselves, to guide the currents that we want to have. Because whatever energy this is emitting, is the reality that you're living in, is a you know, we call reality an organic hologram, basically, that's reflecting the energy output of this subconscious part of you. And so many of us when we're experiencing some kind of sabotage in our lives, and Ilan is going to give you guys a little deeper layer in here in just a moment. But when many of us are experiencing this, we drive our awareness up to our conscious mind, which is all this conditioning that we've been given right by society and family and friends and TVs and books and what they told you, you're supposed to be what you're not supposed to be how you're supposed to act, how you're not supposed to act, and through that you've habituated, this subconscious, right, but when we just go up here, and we drive all our awareness up here to solve the problems, right, that we're having this self sabotage that we're experiencing, then we get trapped in this world, and we never actually change anything about these much deeper aspects of ourselves that are much more influential over the life that you're having than than what you think like you think it's this is influencing it. Yeah, it is. But it's really influencing this, which is really influencing this out here. Right. And so Ilan is gonna take you guys through kind of these, this mechanism through which to look at it but what I really want to bring home at the end of all, this is like, your system is wildly intelligent, and nothing changes until you start honoring the intelligence of this system as it is and its current state right now. Okay, so it's like you're angry. or you are frustrated or you're anxious like I am this morning. And if you're like, I don't want to be anxious, well, how does that like if you're an anxious person like me, say I, and then realize, like, when you like, I don't want to be anxious, like, doesn't make the anxiety go away, like amplifies the anxiety, right as you like, fight against the experience that you're having. However, if I switch it, and I'm like, wow, look at this intelligence system, like the anxieties trying to protect my system from something. And I begin by honoring. Like, what, what is the system trying to tell me right now, like, what is it actually experiencing? Why is the anxiety arising to protect me and if I could see that, I can kind of relax my system, relax my body, relax my mind. And start letting the energy that's trying to flow, right, that's kind of anxiety feels like a buildup of energy, there's like too much in the system, I can start letting it flow. And it feels like right now it's flowing through the front of my heart a little bit, and kind of out here, and it is causing me to disassociate a little bit. But if I can let that just be the energy in the system knows what it's doing, and how to dissipate the energy, when I'm using my intellect to try to change the experience that I'm having, I'm actually blocking this flow. And so actually gets stuck in this experience much, much longer. And so yeah, I'll turn it to Ilan, and he'll kind of explain these three layers to you. And we'll, we'll keep going with the conversation.
Ilan Ferdman
I want to offer something else in here. Because as you were talking, it just kind of came to me. When you think of self sabotage, I want to just re kind of jigger this in your mind, it's not really self sabotage. It's kind of what guy was talking about right now. Our system is very intelligent. Right? So if you think like, well, there's intelligence system, why would it be sabotaging me all the time. And there's kind of like a misnomer there. It's not really self sabotage, it's more self preservation. Meaning that something like like, if you think about in a car, and you're driving, and you hit the red line doesn't happen so much today in automatic cars, but back when you can drive manuals, and you can just rev out the engine, then the car will actually do something like it will cut the gas or it will limit your ability to push the throttle, like something will happen, so that you can't keep bouncing off that red limiter, red, red line limiter. And our bodies are very intelligent, and they do very, very similar things. And a lot of why it creates the self preservation is I'm going to walk you through a process is because there's certain aspects of ourselves that through different traumas, and then through habituated practices, and through certain perceptions, keep arising over and over and over. And I just want to give you like a few of these, there's four, I actually magically found this piece of paper, which I haven't used in a long time, but I had some great notes from a book, I believe it was called. I think this is from a book called big leap. I might be wrong. But I think it's from there. And he was discussing four beliefs that trigger our you know, like our upper he called it upper limits, but like that red line that we're talking about, right? So the first one is that I'm fundamentally flawed. Meaning that I'm bad, good things can happen to me, things like that. So anytime something happens in your life, that will trigger that this self sabotage self preservation mechanism is going to kick in, okay? To is if I succeed, I will leave others behind. So people that I love people that I will leave them behind, and there's this feeling of like, I'm not being loyal to where I came from not being loyal to my family. Okay, so that's two. And you can kind of as I'm sharing these, if you in the comment box can say like, Yes, that's me, because we all fall into one or two of these categories that kick off quite a bit. Okay, so the first one's fundamentally flawed. The second one's if I succeed, I'll leave. So just let us know if those resonate. Third one is, I'm a burden. Right? So I don't want to be a burden for others. So if my success or my doing X will somehow burden others, that doesn't work for me. And the fourth and final one that he mentions, which might resonate with many of you is I can't shine too bright meaning That like, I can't shine brighter than others. So I need to somehow dim my light. So again, just to repeat, fundamentally flawed, if I succeed, I'll leave others behind three is I'm going to be a burden. And four is I can't shine too bright. I have Patrick, Susan says, All of the above. Yeah, right. And you can just kind of like, start to see that. Obviously, if this was a program that you had inside, the system gets overcharged, something happens, it's going to hit off that it's going to trigger one of these. And then you're going to start to create a way to lose everything that you created. Because we can't be we can't be with this. So first steps first is just to realize like, it's not actual self sabotage, it's self preservation. Now, what is it that it's preserving? That's the key, like, what what is it that we're trying to preserve? What is it and it's this feeling of, if it's too good, it has to fall down, it's this, you know, the fundamental, like, all these things get triggered. So one of the practices we take people through, it's it's a simple three step process. And the first step is, there's a hard emotion and a hard emotion can be like, I'm angry, I'm frustrated, a mad, I'm disappointed, like, like, there's, it's like a hard emotion, right? These hard emotions usually are triggered by what comes below that, which is there's a perception, a story, a thing that we have told ourselves, about ourselves, about the situation about reality. And then, underneath, that is what we're really, really interested in. And underneath that is the soft emotion. And the soft emotion is the hurt little one. This might be the one that is really sad. Or feels really alone or really scared, or that you're going to leave him or her. And it's this part that this self sabotage is actually preserving, it's this little part, this little hurt boy or girl inside of us, that's really needs all this mechanism and protection. Because when this part got created, there was so much trauma and so much pain or sadness or fear, like like terror level of fear that occurred, that our system wired itself in a way to make sure that we never experienced that again. And so every time something comes even close to touching that, right, so if if say, you, you were wildly successful in business, let's just use this example, right. And all of a sudden, your business really, really started to grow. But deep down inside, you had this feeling that if I shine really bright, right, it's gonna really upset people. Or if I become too successful, I'm not going to be loyal to my family, because I'm going to feel like I'm going to leave them behind. That little boy or girl that's inside. That's afraid of being alone. That's afraid of not being good enough. That's afraid of everything, right? Like that little boy or girl, is what's going to be triggered? If that thing were to happen, like, if you really were to be disloyal to your family, could you see how that is going to trigger something inside of you. Maybe you have an abandonment issue or something like that. And you're like, I never want to feel that again, ever. And so you'll never let yourself go past this thing. Because your mind has told you a story, a perception that if you do this in this in this in this, this is going to happen. And so in order to protect this, this is what kind of comes online. And so it's what where a lot of people get stuck is they get stuck in the world of the perception of the story, and they try to lie to themselves in essence and go No, it's not, you know, success is good for me, if I have money, I'm not really going to lose my family, and you try to convince yourself of all these things at at level here. But, the little part that's in here, freaking out, doesn't care what you try to convince your brain of, it's still freaking out. And that's why people keep bouncing off of these these glass ceilings all the time, because you hit it, it triggers the part, you try to tell yourself something really profound that you read in some books, it's like, no, no, if I just re-frame it this way, or if I just believe this with all my mind, or if I just visualize if I just sit there and hope and home and pray and bla bla bla, like, eventually I'll get through it. But you won't buy, it doesn't care, the body doesn't care. It is just self preservation. Because internally, this part truly believes that if you were to hit that million dollar a month goal, they're all gonna leave. And you will be on your own in that same horrible painful fashion that you were when you were three or four years old. And the mind cannot let you go there. And so what we work with people on so that they can crush these goals with effortless ease is like imagine if there was nothing to protect. Imagine if there was no internal part that needed protection, then the perception that you have, wouldn't need to be there. And all of the things that you're doing to try to preserve would also not be there. There would be nothing to protect or save. So I'll leave it at that. And maybe bro, we I don't know, if you want to talk about like, how do we actually start to feel that part? Maybe we even take them through like a little bit of an experience and feel that part.
Guy Ferdman
You know, we want to kind of like, I'm definitely for an experience, I just want to relay that this has so
much to do with with performance. Right? Like we think we think performance is like taking, like figuring out the right action. Okay. But you know, you tell me, right, like, I've been saying this a lot like when I'm in good connection in relation with my spouse, for example, like I do better as a father, I do better my health. I do better my business. Like without a doubt when I'm feeling deeply connected with my wife, I make more money. That's just fact. Right? So like, we often think as performance is like, Oh, just figuring out the right series of things to put in order blah, blah, blah. But there's a reason masters are masters. Like anyone can go play the blues, anyone can go figure out a play a trumpet or keyboard right? And the sequences it does, but like, why is it then like a Mozart or Beethoven or you know, some other artists that you really enjoy? We should probably pick somebody that's less than three to 400 years old. You know, like that you really enjoy the Why Why? Why is it that you like just admire or love them, like I have this artist that I'm obsessed with? His name is Emmett Fenin. And he's just like a fucking magician. To me. The way He cultivates different types of genres of music from electronic to literally just sitting down and playing at the piano just blows my mind. Right. Now I can learn to play the piano, I'm probably not going to be an avid fan. Even though I can learn how to play the sequence just like him, there's something else going on. Right. And so where he's probably free and unhindered, I would be really stuck. Like I love singing. But I am one of those people that's like, just don't like to do in front of people at all. And I took voice lessons. And it's something I'm I've been like working on because it's like a good field. It's a deep passion that my body has had in my system. And part of that is like there's an actual collapse that occurs in my nervous system that just literally does not let that happen. I don't I don't like performing in front of people. Which is ironic when you've been on stages all over the world, talking to people, but like that that's the case like we have sat with, you know, people who are CEOs of companies that can speak on a stage in front of 10,000 people, no problem. But you put two people in front of them and ask them a personal question about their lives. And they just shrivel they can't they can't have that conversation. Their system is like Ilan saying he's like maintaining it's preserving something that doesn't feel safe to do that. And so we want to, in a way understand that like our human performance, our ability to manifest in our reality is completely intertwined with this, okay. And we pretty much say this on most calls, but for those you guys who are new, it's really it's really really valuable to understand that the way that most of us have been trained to try to do some kind of therapy on ourselves, is really inept. Because it discounts it does not bring in all the other layers that Ilan is kind of pointing to here for all of us, which is like there's more going on than just your thoughts, your thoughts are an indicator of something. But that's like saying, my body mass index is the only indicator of my health like that that's a ludicrous statement, it's, it's a good indicator, your weight might be an indicator too, but like, Okay, if somebody is six, four, and weighs 250 pounds, that's really different than someone who's five, six, that weighs 250 pounds, right? Your heart rate variability indicator, your glucose levels, indicator, right, like all these subtle indicators that your body gives, now, when you bring them all together, gives you a more holistic picture, you can perform better, and your health and your energy in your sleep, right in all these different areas and your nutrition. And even then not a perfect science far from right, because we can't we can't measure these things, moment by moment, we're always taking a snapshot in time. And difference here, though, is like you can be aware of your system, the subtle energy that's running through it, the emotions that are being produced because of it, the thoughts that are coming out of that, and then the actions that you're taking out in the world. And to me, like, you know, let's say four level levels that I just mentioned, they're like, you want to pay attention to all them. But what sourcing, that like your your thoughts, if your thoughts are really scattered, that might be a way to clue you in training would be then get out of the thoughts, though, let those just run as they do, because the system's already in a process. It's already trying to protect, right? It's trying to get your attention through this, these thought based patterns, forms, whatever. But what's really happening underneath is there's something happening here, okay, then you go down, oh, well, I'm kind of scared. What am I scared of that? Right. And this is all reasoning still, but at least you're getting closer to it. And then it's like, where's that located? Okay, that's my solar plexus that's in my heart behind my heart. And then there's the subtle energy, and feeling like a subtle energy that you can become aware of behind it. And to us, at least in our training, that's much closer to the source than anything else. And so you might as well become accustomed to training yourself to go to the source, because if you want to influence the subconscious part of you. And notice I'm not using subconscious mind, because we think subconscious mind, like there's a part of the mind that we're not aware of it is mind because everything, all of you from head to toe is mind. Every aspect of your tissue, every cell, every photon, everything has consciousness. So like really our entire reality is mind. Right? The Universal God mind, Big Head, Universal Consciousness is just mind and things coming into form as a function of that mind. And so we work just the same way. And so we want to get down deep, deep, deep into the system and become really how do
we become aware of that from a compassionate place? From a neutral place? Because what ends up happening for most of us is okay, fine guy. Yeah, I can notice like, My heart hurts a little bit today, or my stomach is squinting a little bit today. But right behind that, because of your conditioning, because of all of our conditioning, the next thing that happens is the judgment, from the conscious mind about what's happening in the system. And when you do that, you're not meeting your system. You're like, you're you're almost on your system, like I don't like what you're doing and think about the impact on you. You know, in a relationship, when a person is like, I don't like what you're doing. You're not like, okay, um, well, I'm open
earthed. Listen, tell me, you know, like, you're, you close up and you're like, Oh, my God, what did I do? Right? And the system starts going into searching and panicking and like, going through history, like what did I do last two days that upset them so much, and all this kind of stuff, if that's how it works up out here, that's how it works in here. And so if you enter judge yourself, the system actually locks up and closes. And it's like, okay, what what does he or she want me to do? What's happening right now I'm trying to clear this energy, but they're not happy with that. And it actually starts creating confusion in the system, because we can't accept what's happening. And so awareness is really about creating a view that's outside of the conditioned mind. We call it like in Michael singers terminology. He calls it the seat of awareness. And to Ilan's point, you know, like when you read Michael singers books, a lot of people think that getting in the seat of awareness is like winning the game like Okay, good. I'm in the seat of awareness. I'm going to wear personnel. And it's like, when you get to the seat of awareness, you just got to the starting line. Up until now, you've been doing jump ropes in your garage, practicing just just trying to get strong enough to be able to like run basically right or like jump a lot, whatever it is. I don't know if that metaphor works for you guys. But like, you know, when you get to a state of awareness, that's really when the game starts. Yeah. Because now it's developing that awareness to a place where it can fully surrender to the experience of life. And and, and the view itself becomes the pleasure you stop seeking pleasure in your
experience and what's happening and what you're creating. It's like just I am this awareness that has an innate pleasure that is both neutral and compassionate. And I'm able to now view my life experience what's happening in my body, the energy around me my connections to other from this view of pleasure. And this is where the magic really starts happening. And this is what a lot of people honestly most people have never experienced in their lives before. Okay, this is this is like, ancient wisdom, married with modern neurology that unlocks the potentiality of a human being, that makes life so much easier, that increases performance to like, the nth degree that allows you to have deep, meaningful, authentic connections with other human beings. Why because if you're judging yourself in here, you're gonna judge other people out
here the same exact way. And so you'll never really find those connections that people are looking for not the like, you might get hot on somebody like, this is fun, right? And do all that kind of stuff. But you're like, you're there's a part of you that's going to crave really authentic, deep connecting with another person, you won't know how to find it, and other people don't either. And so like, how is this talk, and that's why we're going to do a sit now is through Gnos's is direct experience. It's the only way to learn it, I don't give a shit. If you read 500 books on what I just said, you won't learn it, you'll have an idea, you have a concept of it, but you'll never truly experience it. Okay. And the other part is, is sitting with other people regularly, that are doing this kind of work that are learning how to open their systems sit in this level of mind and awareness. And actually, we call this like CO regulating or CO marinating with another human
being, because what ends up happening is when you have two energetic bodies around each other that are aware of this work, they start templates each other is just like a measurement starts happening of our energy bodies, and our awareness begins to teach itself. And that's really the crux of the whole thing is that the only teacher that really matters at the end of the day, like I enjoy books, don't get me wrong. I love audio-books, I love learning, I love all that stuff. I consume it, I consume quite a bit of it. Nonetheless, what I've learned is like the only truth that I can find really that's true for me, is my own awareness and my awareness teaching itself. Okay, and so why don't we do a sit with everybody?
