The following is the transcript copy of a free live training hosted by Satori Prime in their free group where anyone can join by heading to soulsandseekers.com.
Guy Ferdman 00:31
Welcome well, to the show. No podcast show. If you can tell my voice lessons are paying off from three years ago. I can I can almost get the vibrato to go.
Ilan Ferdman 00:51
I think I'm getting a little bit of an echo from your.
Guy Ferdman 00:54
Give it a hot second. And usually Yeah. That's funny. Now just gonna be me rapping freestyle, like it was very sure it was his choice.
Ilan Ferdman 01:07
No.
Guy Ferdman 01:09
All right, well, we're limited on time. So take one, let's do this.
Ilan Ferdman 01:15
Let's just let's jump in. You know, I just want to say I was looking through messages while we were playing that jingle. And one of our clients just send me a GIF that said, I wish I could hug you right now.
Guy Ferdman 01:26
And I was like, Oh, that's a that's like a good goal for a company. It's like, what do you want? I want clients that want to hug me.
Ilan Ferdman 01:35
Listen, I you know, we had that amazing, amazing, emergent session, we do this. For people in our programs. We do this once a month, like deep emergent session, meditation. Thats just so profoundly beautiful. And I think it really leaves people in this very, like loving, open hearted space. So you know, to get messages like that. It's just absolutely so sweet. Yeah. So we're going to be super honest with you guys.
Guy Ferdman 02:05
We realized that we, because we're so in energetic awareness headspace these days. And like, that's what we love. We often don't talk about our work in terms of personal performance anymore. So we're gonna do a better job of, you know, talking about how this is not just oh, I feel better about myself, life is good. Like that, in every area of life is going to lead to better performance. And so today, we wanted to talk about, you know, how does that work in relationships? Conflict Resolution, like when there's tenuous energy between two people, like, what's the perspective? How can you work together, right, because I don't know about you, but like a huge breakthrough I had this last year was like, currently, I'm the sole provider in my family, my wife is working on a passion project. And like I, you know, I intend to give her as much space and time that she used to do that, because I know that when somebody is putting that kind of energy into creating something like she's got a product that my wife, if anybody knows my wife, she is a top tier scientific level researcher. So when it comes to knowledge in pharmaceuticals, when it comes to knowledge and the neuro space, and what's happening in terms of medicine, like, my wife is legit skis, right? Like she does, she's not accredited in that way. But like, she does research that way. Like, she nearly refuses to watch anything that doesn't educate her. So it's like, there are documentaries in my home like, we don't even need Netflix, we just need a Netflix for documentaries. You know, like, I try to entertain this woman is like, she needs to find out like what grizzly bears do and they're sleeping and like it's anyway, it's a lot of research. So I say all this because she's putting together a program teaching parents on how to relate to their children, and in really healthy way from the same type of energy and dynamic and teachings that Ilan and I teach our clientele and you should see the books she reads so that she can cite neurological physics information so that she just gives me spirituality, but the that aspect of it. So I want to tell you guys, it's the same thing for us, like, you know, everything we do here, it's spiritual science. But I like using that terminology. Because what we do here is a science. You know, this is this is accredited stuff by by the latest research and neuroscience, in quantum physics. And so there when you're healing aspects of yourself when you're in better relationship with your partner, and this is what I meant to say, really after I rambled on and gushed over my wife is that, like, I know when I'm in a better connection with my wife, I'm better everywhere in my life. better performing in my business, I'm better performing in my health, and they're better performing as a father. When there's tension in our relationship. It's the exact opposite. It affects everything that I do. Like everything affects everything. And so we often think like okay, I'm going to get good in business and stuff. People are coaching people. But like, my personal life is in fucking shambles, you know, and I'm like, There's no way that's not impacting a conversation you're having with a potential client. Because whether you're saying it or not, there is a vibration and frequency in your body that you're holding, that's not allowing you to
authentically say what you want to say it actually hit me the other day, I don't know what I was reading. But someone said, like, you know, when you know, your spouse, you know, by their tone, whether something is off or not, like humans are just vibration frequency and sound, right? Like, that's literally all our brain patterns are, that's literally all makeup we are. So it's like, when you're out of alignment, there's a different tonality to your voice that might be just a hertz off to your spouse's ear, you know, they're used to hearing you for 32. But when you said that it's out of alignment. So my wife is, I'll say something, she goes, that wasn't in alignment, she's like, instant. And because there's probably a small frequency shift in the tonality of my voice that she's so sensitive to, she can tell with what, you know, the tonality and cadence and whatever that I'm saying that that it's off, but it's, it's really just a, you know, this is the
physical vibration, but so is your body. So is your thought. And if you're sensitive enough, you can pick up on that. So I wanted to just open with that, because, like, everything we do here with our clients, like our intention is absolutely people are fucking in the best health of their lives, best relationships in their lives, making more money pursuing their passions, like all that. And like, yeah, you know, when I have been talking about it's like, we don't do a well enough job of, of showing like, you know, really, what does this open up for people? What does this create?
Ilan Ferdman 06:38
Yeah, you know, one of our clients actually brought this to our attention at our last live event. And he had shared that, you know, he sat there, and a lot of our work, the languaging, around a lot of our work is healing. And so when we talk about healing, you're talking about dealing with like, internal traumas, and things like that. And so when people hear that, a lot of the times, it's I had this happen to me, I had that happen to me, I had an abusive relationship, you know, abusive parents, I don't live with a narcissist, I was hurt this way, hurt that way. And so when people hear the word trauma, and healing, they're kind of like, they get thrown in together. And, you know, Guy and I grew up in a home where our, our parents were like, the IT parents, you know, that there were the parents that our friends even in back in, like middle school would look at and be like, how are your parents this in love, like, it just didn't make sense because the relationships they had seen and all that. So that's the home we grew up in. And, now that we started doing a lot of the energy work, not just the mindset, understanding, you know, work, but like actually experiencing and going down into it. We realize that even with the best of intentions, and I can even see it as a parent myself with all of the education that I have, like, I still yell at my kids every once in a while, like, I still get upset when I'm driving down the road every once in a while, like, I'm still human having my human experience. Is it 90 plus percent better than it ever was? Yeah, you bet you right, like, like, I don't respond to things that are shocking to me that I'm not responding to. All that to say is that when guy and I started this work, it was never for us about on like, like digging up trauma and, healing trauma. Like, that's not what piqued our interest. It's not what got us excited, and none of it. In fact, that kind of was the byproduct of us saying yes, and like starting down this path. But for us, first and foremost, we are performance enhancement, junkies. Like, if you were like there's a better way to experience life, there's a better way to experience your body. There's a better way to experience your mind guy and I are there signing up.
Guy Ferdman 09:15
I want to I want to remind you our first podcast was called the performance enhancing podcast.
Ilan Ferdman 09:19
No, I get it. Now. I don't think we operate in performance the same way that we did, then I think
then if I could give the distinction it was like for most people excelling at performance comes
from and if you haven't read Will Smith's book. Here's a shameless plug, go read Will Smith's
book, I would actually say don't read it, go get the audible version so you can actually listen to
the man read it with accents and music. It's just it's a fucking experience.
Guy Ferdman 09:49
Before I actually say don't read it. Don't give it don't take that experience away from yourself. I've actually listened to it before it.
Ilan Ferdman 09:56
Yeah, go listen. Um you know, like This man who most of us would look at as like the most successful man, like, the driver behind the necessity to perform better, does not come from a healthy place. So when we create a performance enhancing podcast, I can tell you that my drive to perform better came from an underlying conversation of, I'm a loser. So I need to figure out ways to perform better than so and so on. So now my idea of performance is very different. And this is kind of like the language that I really want to bring through today. It's, you know, healing became the byproduct. Because what I realized, like when you can perform from a place of not having to perform, you know, like, most people
perform, because there's this innate drive, like, I have to win, I have to do better, I gotta move on. Like, I gotta, I made a million, I gotta make my 10 million, like, I got to keep up with this person. And that person. That is a never ending, losing battle, that will end up costing you your health, it will end up costing you your relationships, it will end up costing you your life. And on your deathbed, trust me when I tell you because they've surveyed many, many people, you're not going to be lying there and going, you know what I didn't perform to my best, you're going to be thinking about the people that you lost the people that you let down, and how you let yourself down. Like, why did you chase all of those things incessantly. Now most people that have this kind of drive, don't ever get to that. Epiphany. Because they kill themselves, they literally are like running to the grave. So now performance is not from a place of having to, it's like watching a flower open in all of what this thing is capable of. Like, I do things with my
body today, both from a standpoint of strength, flexibility and exercise. I'm 40 years old, that I was not able to do when I was 20 years old. And that's not because like I have to I'm just curious about from a longevity place. Like what can this thing do. And as you approach life that way, just see if you can notice, if I approach my body from that place of like, I love this thing. I want to keep this thing going for as long as I can. Right? Can you guess what fuel I choose to put in there? Like how that will be different. The decisions that I make around this, the decisions that I make around my relationships, the decision that we make in our business not because I need to fucking prove anything to anyone because I have some weird like lack thing in but just out of like a wealth of curiosity be like can we be an all with what we have? And what's next?
Guy Ferdman 13:32
Yes. And so you bring a good conversation to the table which is like where are we? Where are we performing from? Well, Smith for those you guys who listen to the book, right, he's a basically the ultimate competitor, right? He's just like any sport athlete like that. That's his underpinnings. Again, not because he we said this often here on this program, but it's like people People like him are not succeeding because they've overcome something. It is actually his trauma that is driving him to perform at such a high level and literally can't stop like he was gonna He's gonna like die doing that because you need there's something for him to prove to himself about his worth in the world. And it's the only way he can even begin touching feeling safe and he still doesn't feel safe after like a huge revelation on this book the level of vulnerability he gives like he doesn't feel safe all that success all that money biggest you know, first rapper to ever win a Grammy biggest streak of number ones ever in blockbuster history
number one paid actor in the world.
Ilan Ferdman 14:31
Still doesn't feel safe. Like still needs to work that hard to even feel like he's just getting you know a little bit by like the best line. The best line was when he like it hit him later, but like I think it was I Am Legend. Yeah, where his boss like his manager calls me he's like, you just did whatever was like $78 million, like opening weekend. Like the best ever. Like no one's ever done this. Blah, blah, blah. And Will's question literally. Wills. Next question was, why do you think we didn't get at? You think it was? Because the ending you think it was? Because this you think it was because that because like, that's that incessant never enough drive that that we're pointing to right now.
Guy Ferdman 15:17
Yeah, like not a moment of appreciation literally, it's like, he's already making himself wrong about how he could perform better, right? So this is really important, because it's like, what's trying to perform? And for most people, it's just like this, like, it's this, there's a trauma in the system. And it's like, the performance is gonna say something to you or others about who you are in this world, your worth, your value, your ability to achieve. And, you know, there's a question we pose really early on to a lot of our clients when they do our two day intensives. And the question is, is like, what have you done? What action Have you taken in your life? So far? That's free of achievement. And no one can answer this question. It's like an unanswerable question. Why because we are so deeply conditioned, that our worth in this world is what we've done and what we've achieved, that we are legitimately unable to take action free of achievement. Yep. Give you another perspective. Think about all the VC capital money out there. Think about all the inventors out there, everyone inventing shit for people. There's not an inventor out there right now that's working on something. I mean, this is that's too bold of a statement. But say there's mostly inventors out there right now, are not inventing anything right now, that's not purposely built as a consumer product to make money. Yeah, no one's like, and that if that wasn't how it was, in the early 20th century, there's a lot of
room for people just invent and create stuff. But today, because it's like, you got to make money, somehow, you got to be capitalistic. So it's like, all invention comes from the sourcing of like, okay, is this good in a consumer based product? Like, look, think about Shark Tank? Nobody gets fucking money, because they have a great idea. That's just going to feel good. It's like, can we see this as a viable business option? Yeah, it's not get the fuck out of here. And so it's framed our entire culture into inventing not from art and from our soul, and from our heart. And from our purpose. It's like, is this viable in the marketplace? First and foremost, then let's think about how we can invent it. And like, you know, what does that what does that do to us when we don't know, because we're so in the culture, we can't even peek out of it, right. And so we really want to think about this in our own lives. Because in our own lives, we don't really have to sell ourselves. One of the biggest lives that we have lived lives that we have lived with for quite some time in our culture, is that you don't receive love, until you achieve something you don't want to see if you don't receive authentic connection until you achieve something.
Now, again, if you've done that, if you've achieved quite a bit, you've been successful, you know, just like Will Smith found out just like everybody else who plays that game finds out it's like, it's still not there, at the end of that rainbow is still not what you're looking for that connection is not there. And so your performance, your achievement is null and void. Because who gives a fuck? Yeah, if you're if your innards aren't in alignment with what's actually being produced in the world as your art or as your purpose. And so it's prudent for all of us to look inside and say, Okay, what is trying to perform as, as a part of me that's trying to perform, and this is the work that we do here is like helping people identify the parts that are traumatized, and actually operate as if separate from the whole outside of themselves. And then if you can identify that, how do you reintegrate, so that part doesn't have to operate from that place anymore. And you can actually operate from this more aligned, neutral, compassionate place, and I always say, neutral and compassionate. But the truth is, when you're neutral, you're naturally compassionate. It's just it's a byproduct of being neutral. Like, if I'm neutral, I love everybody. If I'm angry, I fucking hate everybody, right? So it's like, it really, really matters where I'm at. Because if there's something here than the absence of it is not. And for most people, they're operating from that absence, trying to perform. And so it's the absence that's creating that not the wholeness. That's creating this performance. I hope that makes sense. And so just because I know we're like in a bit of a time crunch today, I want to just talk a little bit about, you know, conflict resolution between people because I say one thing before you do, yeah, absolutely.
Ilan Ferdman 19:12
Yeah. So there's, there's this line that actually just came out of me on a on a client call earlier. And I just really want you guys to get this because it's really messed with my mind. And someone asked me, they said, If hard work really worked, wouldn't it have worked already? Just let that sink in. Right? Like we live in a culture where everyone's not good enough part is running their lives. Everyone this is we are in a
culture where everyone's I'm not good enough. So I need to perform and I need to run like, how think how this gets ingrained. Like, if you're in a family, right, and there's siblings or parents, right. It's like you have To get good grades, you have to be good at sports you have to this. And if you're not, right, your parents like for the perception of the child, I'm not saying necessarily the parents, but the perception of the child is that you're loved less. That gets imprinted on you. Then you go to school. And teachers who are teacher's pets, kids are getting C's and D's in class, or kids who are getting A's and succeeding, more imprint, then you start playing sports? Who do they give MVPs and metals and all that stuff to all now they're given fundamentals everyone, but Right, like, so all this stuff gets imprinted, then you go into the workspace, it's like this person works, then we look out in the world, and like, this person worked their ass off, so blah, blah. But like, the truth is, that model works for some if it worked, because I know plenty of people who work really hard. And their health relationships, and even their bank accounts are not like any of those other people that are working hard.
Guy Ferdman 21:05
Yeah, I heard a lot the other day, if hard work made people rich, then every waitress and waiter on the planet would be fucking filthy rich.
Ilan Ferdman 21:16
Like, right, like, so if hard work worked, it would have worked already. And the truth is that we've all been sold this bullshit bag, right? And if you think about it, this not to get like conspiracy theorist here. But like, there's a lot of people that have a lot of money. People that have money, want more money and more power. Generally, I'm not saying everyone's not a blanket statement. And in order to do that, they got to keep other people from having all that money in power. So it's not in their interest to have everyone like, build into this wealth, right. So if you program these things, through school, through media, through dah, dah… you create a certain world. And I'm telling you right now, like, when I talk about performance, it's when you can unhook. From that world, the way that you perform, it's like, if
you've ever seen the Matrix, it's like, when he has that moment where he's like, man, and he like, stretches the matrix around him, because he realizes that he can see all this and you can manipulate it, it's like that, yeah, if you're playing within the system, you can only perform within the system, and some people perform better than others within that system, that's the way it goes. But if you, if you come at it from actually getting interested in on what's happening inside, and you heal that part, then your performance goes through the roof, in literally anything that you touch, you put that energy on relationships, you'll have the most amazing relationships, you put that energy on healing your body, you'll have the most amazing body, you put that energy on money, and money will start to fall literally out of the sky.
Guy Ferdman 23:10
Yeah, and to your point with a movie scene, you know, that's the scene that he realizes he is the spoon, right now looking at the spoon, he's no longer the object looking at a different object he is he is now the subject and he realizes he, he is the matrix basically. Right? Like the energy exists within him. So it's like, he maps himself, he maps the matrix, it just becomes a reflection of his inner desire. And that that is how it works The World Within is the our world without and for most people, that's why they struggle so much, until you make that change of the you know, all the awareness, your awareness, being outside, looking outside of yourself. And it's not even looking at what's outside yourself. It's looking at a like a conditioning that your mind has been through. And it's filtering what it perceives is coming at it as a reality. But it's really just the your own conditioning that you're looking at. So you're so far removed from anything that could be called Real. And that's the case for most of us and so that you can't get a sense of what's true and authentic about yourself until you go inside and actually get the body nervous
system into a neutral state. And so again, you know, an interest of time we can't talk about this too much today, but like, you know, with with, let's forget about conflict resolution, but like how do we leverage our relationships because the leverage is honestly conflict in your life. Any sort of pressurization can be deemed as a very exciting experience. I'm not saying it's comfortable, don't get don't mix my words here. What I'm saying is it could be very exciting in terms of what's the potential energy that that squeezing is taking because our mind is like a static energy right and becomes kinetic when thoughts and actions and awareness becomes involved. And so our relationships are them, but certainly our loved ones, again are just just like I said it reflections of our innards. When you look at your wife, or your spouse or your husband, whatever it might be, like, what you're really seeing is your parts, like your trauma, your beliefs, transposed on another human being. And so when you get upset at that person, you really getting upset at apart within yourself. And that person magically has taken on this role and had vowed to be next to you to do it to basically show you your own inner trauma. Now, if two people in a relationship come to this understanding that all they are is mirroring each other's trauma parts to each other, what you can start fundamentally understanding is that what these parts really need, and this works in performance, too, is they need to get a they get, they need to get energetic information data, if you want to call it a template that allows for that part, to see that no matter what it's doing, it still receives connection for you of achievement, it doesn't have to do anything in the situation. It just gets connection. Now, do we give a connection, that's what our training is all about, if you want to learn how to. Because this is, we can explain it to you. But it needs to be directly experienced to truly have the wisdom and understanding of how this works. Okay. Now, if you have two people who have this understanding, suddenly, every moment of trauma and conflict is like, Oh, we found another part opportunity. And we found another part in our system, I found another partner system, and then instead of making that person wrong, and trying to beat them into submission, because you think that you need to create an external factor, to make yourself feel safe again, meaning you go, Hey, I need you to stop doing that I get hurt when you do that. Right. All that means is you have a part inside of yourself that you've turned away from, you've made wrong. And so when they exude that quality in front of you, you got to squash it the same way you would in your system. That's not reintegration, that's not healing, that is just you saying I don't want to deal with my trauma, I need you, I need my trauma to go away. Right. And so when two people understand this, suddenly you can come together and be like, Oh, we found the part. And then you just sit and all you got to do again, is sit in this awareness in deep connection with each other. And something magical happens. It resolves itself. And when it resolves itself, it resolves itself, you will see an upgrade in your relationship, more connection, more authenticity and more performance in the way that you guys operate with each other. And that's why I started saying when I'm in good, authentic connection with my wife, I perform better across the board. I know that I make more money, when my wife and me are on the same team, I know we're better parents weren't on the same team. I know I'm in better health when we're on the same team. And correct me if I'm wrong. But when you're arguing with somebody, what you're really saying is, can we please get back into connection with one another, that's what really our little boy and girl parts want. And so, again, I don't want to get into it big time, because we're trying to create a, we're short here on time. But in essence, we can do that in every relationship on our life. Imagine if that's what you took on everywhere, that every time you got upset, or anxious or stressed with somebody, like found a new part. And it got to get your awareness you got to get you know, different reflections are different layers of healing that we do with, with self to self, self to other self to group healing that we do within our work. And that's really what this work provides is an opportunity to heal all that so you can increase your performance across the board. If you walk out into the world and every relationship you have feels authentically connected. When you go to gym, when you come back home. Like I just want you to imagine what it's like to walk through the world without being on eggshells or angst that like something can come up. That's just too fucking much for you. And there's just this fluidity all the time. Right. And that's kind of the cliffhanger I want to leave at least my part here off with.
Ilan Ferdman 28:57
Yeah, to me, it's just a matter of when we it's so ironic, but like, it's kind of like the Justice position or paradox of everything. It's like, people perform better when there's no pressure to perform. That's why people practice better than they play. Right? You can you can hit 95 out of 100 free throws when you're practicing. But when the game's on the line, and you making that bucket is the difference between you guys winning or losing. Guess what? You're not shooting that same percentage. Yeah. Right. Like when you're playing a sport when you're dancing. When you're performing. Like when things matter, you fall. The line is like do you rise to the occasion? Did you fall to your level of knowledge or training? And the truth is we always fall to our training because at that point, it's like that's what it comes down to. So, to me, performance is this, it's like, we've all been given a certain bucket of tools to go out and perform in the world. And as we go in the world, the way that we think that we can perform better, is we take the same tools. And our mind goes, well, if we just did it faster than everyone else will perform them. If I just do it longer than anyone else, how many you guys like 24 7365? Hustle, you kick a day off? Proceed, right? Like, there's like nonsense that people spew out there. I'm like, What if instead, you just learn new tools. Let them all work harder. Let them all work faster. Let them all run to their graves. You don't have to play that game. And whether your CEO and like really performing at a high level, but you know that when you come home, it is not fun to come home. Because while your tools work amazingly well in the office, and being the head honcho, and getting accolades and all that stuff, you come home, your wife doesn't fucking give a shit that your CEO big time bigwig, right? Like she wants your help. She wants
you to be connected with the kids. And you don't have the tools to do that. And so what you do is you bury yourself into more work, or a Scotch in front of the TV until everyone to get the hell away from you. Is that high performance? Would you consider yourself like a high performance at home dad? No. And the truth is like, I know people beat themselves up over that. So we stick to where where acknowledge we seek to where we're good at. But we beat ourselves up and then justify the beating up or justify that we're not that because we're doing this in this in this over there. Like when I talk about performance, I want performance on all fronts. Like, can you be the best husband and wife that you can be? Can you be the best father or mother that you can be? Can you be the best leader in whatever work that you're doing? Can you have the best body that you can possibly have? And the answer is yes to all of them. It just requires new tools. And when I tell you like these tools make life so much easier, and more effortless. It doesn't even make sense to your brain till you actually go do it. So again, like if if this is the
kind of level of performance and as we say this, like certain things are resonating going, you
know what I do do that and I wish there was these other things like I just want to let you know, as someone who is a previous attic, just like you to overachieving and producing. It takes something. And if you want to spend the next 3040 years of your life like doing things differently, then there's absolutely a way to do that.
Guy Ferdman 33:24
Here yeah, guys, so if this you know if this stuff resonates with you, you want to figure out what the hell it is these two guys are talking about? How do you move in the direction of learning about these things, and it really comes down to Gnosis. We're not here to explain things to you. We want you to directly experience things in your life. Like that's the only way any of us gain true wisdom. If you are interested, you can go check out our foundational programs and what they're about at souls and seekers.com forward slash register. There's a two day event there and there's also our L one program, which is a six week training program. Those are fun foundational programs. If you have no fucking idea which one is appropriate for you. There's the button there to just book a call with our team and support questions. And that's how you can start working with the programs that we do here, with our team and everything else that we do here. Alright guys, we love you very much. Thank you for listening and your attention today and we will see you next time.
Ilan Ferdman 34:19
Bye. Love you.
