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02: How Do We Re-Define The Meaning of Responsibility vs. Blame?

“Our society has collapsed the meaning of responsibility with blame

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Sometimes the line between responsibility and blame can become blurred. We find ourselves asking others to take responsibility for actions, when, in reality, we are asking someone to take the blame. In our day to day conversations, we often find ourselves taking part in trauma sharing– where we get caught up in focusing on sharing the negative attributes, and in turn discussing negative feedback.

If you take a step back for a moment and imagine all the time you spent complaining, and replaced it with time you could have spent doing something productive, life might be a bit different. We need to break free of the bad habits we have all grown so accustomed to.

Sit tight and listen up, because on this episode we will be discussing exactly how to do that!

“To the ego, losing an argument is like death

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The Cliff Notes:

  • When you have an “a-ha” moment, you aren’t shocked. It’s almost as if we remember things rather than acquire new information.
  • You are not innately born with the ability to be responsible.
  • Does a resolution of any kind ever happen from placing blame?
  • Blame can cause us to punish ourselves, which harms us. Has this ever helped you grow in a meaningful way? Probably not.
  • Responsibility is not the same as blame.
  • Most relationships are viewed through the 50/50 spectrum. You do your share, and I will do my share.
  • Commit to love and connection, not ego and blame placing.
  • You cannot blame others for what you choose yourself.  You made those decisions. This is where your ego begins to take over and place blame.
  • It’s important to understand how to have a sense of humor and lose a bit of the seriousness in certain situations.
  • Imagine how much time you spend complaining. Now imagine taking out all the time you spend complaining, and replacing it with time you could be using to do what you need to get done.
  • People get hooked on trauma sharing, which is essentially focusing on the negative/dislikes we share.
  • Most common incorrect thought: If most people think it, it must be true. We use this to measure our reality.
  • Looking for patterns in other people to validate what we’re doing or who we are, is biologically built into us.
  • The ego can cause you to do ineffective things!

“The experience of blame creates the experience of guilt, shame, and loss of value

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