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165: Be Kind and Firm: Parenting 101 with Lisa Howe

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“Parenting is a self-improvement project in disguise.” - Lisa HoweClick to Tweet

Parenting is the greatest ask.

You have to raise children to be their best selves, by providing unconditional love and support. In theory, this makes sense—but when the realities of life get pressed against the stressors of child-bearing, it can be hard to see the picture clearly.

That’s why self-regulation is so important. If we’re not taking care of ourselves, then we cannot expect to take care of another human being.

On today’s episode of Personal Development Without The Fluff, we are joined by social worker—Lisa Howes—to discuss the best parenting strategies. Over the past 25 years, Lisa has helped children and families navigate the complex hurdles that come with being part of a family unit.

Tune in to this conversation to learn how to approach parenting from a place of curiosity, so you start to learn from your children.

You can learn more about Lisa Howe at becomingpeaceful.com

The Cliff Notes:

  • Read more about Dr. Markham’s Aha! Parenting here.
  • Peaceful parenting boils down to being kind and firm.
  • Research shows that just 5 deep breaths can slow your thinking to a point of response.
  • A meditation practice for 8 weeks will shrink the amygdala, lowering your flight-fight response.
  • When emotionally triggered—stop, drop, and breathe (where ‘drop’ means ‘to drop your agenda.’)
  • Understand that in almost every case, there is never an emergency.
  • Treat your children as your master teachers, so they grow up not believing you’re infallible.
  • Read The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson.
  • The way you create your children is the way they end up.
  • Our thoughts create our feelings, and those feelings create our beliefs.
  • Find the solution by articulating what you love about your child.
“All relationships improve with connection and vulnerability.” - Lisa HoweClick to Tweet